You've cheated, and you're wrecked with guilt...and trying to salvage the broken pieces of your relationship. This article will help you learn how to build trust after infidelity (yes, it's possible), so both you and your partner can start getting over an affair and move forward together.
Confession time -- I cheated on my husband. But eventually he forgave me, and we've been a stronger couple ever since.
Something in your relationship, or in your attitude about relationships, led to you cheating, You need to understand what, so you can get back on the path to repairing your relationship.
What was it about the person you cheated with that appealed to you? Did they seem exciting? Did they pay a lot of attention to you? Say things to you that you needed to hear? What drew you to this person is a sign of what's missing in your current relationship.
You had an affair because you were looking for something that's missing, either in you or in the relationship, or both.
Building trust can't happen unless the underlying problems are addressed. Couples counselling might help.
But just understanding our feelings and issues isn't enough. You have to actually take action.
When restoring trust, actions speak louder than words. Talking is good...but doing the right things is better.
Small promises that you keep will go a long way to rebuilding trust. Your partner needs to regain confidence in you. Little things like taking out the trash every night, or being on time will help them learn to see you as trustworthy again...far more than grand gestures will.
Whatever you do, don't argue. Your mate needs reassurance, and needs to express their feelings. This means that you will be taking the brunt of it all...and you're going to have to do it with patience and understanding. Accept their anger and sorrow, apologize as often as you need to, and above all be patient and humble.
However, this doesn't mean you have to be the bad guy forever. If you let your partner guilt trip you, the relationship you're rebuilding will remain on shaky ground. If you need to defend yourself, do so gently and with compassion.
Finally, you need to find the silver lining. Discuss the affair as a chance for the both of you to improve your relationship and grow together as a couple. In my case, my husband and I both realized that we had some destructive attitudes toward relationships in general, and me cheating brought them to light. We learned from the experience and are the better for it.
Getting over an affair takes time, but it can happen. If you 're honest with yourself and your partner and take honest actions to set things right, you'll come out of it a stronger, happier couple. - 30299
Confession time -- I cheated on my husband. But eventually he forgave me, and we've been a stronger couple ever since.
Something in your relationship, or in your attitude about relationships, led to you cheating, You need to understand what, so you can get back on the path to repairing your relationship.
What was it about the person you cheated with that appealed to you? Did they seem exciting? Did they pay a lot of attention to you? Say things to you that you needed to hear? What drew you to this person is a sign of what's missing in your current relationship.
You had an affair because you were looking for something that's missing, either in you or in the relationship, or both.
Building trust can't happen unless the underlying problems are addressed. Couples counselling might help.
But just understanding our feelings and issues isn't enough. You have to actually take action.
When restoring trust, actions speak louder than words. Talking is good...but doing the right things is better.
Small promises that you keep will go a long way to rebuilding trust. Your partner needs to regain confidence in you. Little things like taking out the trash every night, or being on time will help them learn to see you as trustworthy again...far more than grand gestures will.
Whatever you do, don't argue. Your mate needs reassurance, and needs to express their feelings. This means that you will be taking the brunt of it all...and you're going to have to do it with patience and understanding. Accept their anger and sorrow, apologize as often as you need to, and above all be patient and humble.
However, this doesn't mean you have to be the bad guy forever. If you let your partner guilt trip you, the relationship you're rebuilding will remain on shaky ground. If you need to defend yourself, do so gently and with compassion.
Finally, you need to find the silver lining. Discuss the affair as a chance for the both of you to improve your relationship and grow together as a couple. In my case, my husband and I both realized that we had some destructive attitudes toward relationships in general, and me cheating brought them to light. We learned from the experience and are the better for it.
Getting over an affair takes time, but it can happen. If you 're honest with yourself and your partner and take honest actions to set things right, you'll come out of it a stronger, happier couple. - 30299
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For more tips and actions you can take to build trust after infidelity and repair your relationship, visit www.SecondChanceAtLove.info
