What do you do if you want to get married, but one or both of you have Youngsters? The Children may be from prior marriages or other circumstance. The challenge of dealing with Children is always a big concern.
If the Youngsters are left out of the wedding, they feel omitted.
Forcing Youngsters to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.
When it comes to mixing families, there is no sure formula. Youngsters and adults have a whole mix of feelings, expectations, and needs.
First, identify who the adults are and who the Children are. Adults must act like adults, and Children must be treated as Youngsters. Adults are suppose to be emotionally mature, capable of self control, logical thought, and consideration of others. Kids are not yet mature, capable of controlling their world, have difficulty understanding adult things, and are mostly concerned about their own welfare.
When adults are confident in their own relationships, they are far more effective nurturing family connections with the Youngsters.
What do Youngsters want? They want control of their own world. They want to feel loved, secure, protected, and accepted. They may not understand what they really want. Indeed, they may struggle to find peace with their changing world. One thing they do not want, however, is to be left out, ignored, or abandoned.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Youngsters. Help the Kids accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
Dysfunctional families result for a lack of consideration, love, and acceptance. Everyone suffers. The aim of every family should be to create an atmosphere where each family member feels accepted, loved, and secure.
Caution is better than calamity. When positive relationships are built and the family feels good about one another, everything runs more smoothly including weddings.
Many families choose to involve their Kids in the wedding ceremony with a variety of roles including wedding vows involving Youngsters.
Susan is a twenty eight year old mother with an eight year old son named Todd. Susan has decided she wants to get married. The adult couple understands that Todd will be affected, but they are hoping it will be a positive experience for them all.
Involving Todd in the ceremony was discussed during a wedding planning session and it was decided to pursue the possibilities.
Including Todd was a big deal. Todd was excited and his new parents looked forward to planning a great wedding for the family.
It was decided that Todd would be included in the wedding ceremony by creating special vows for him.
The wedding vows went like this:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I love your mother and I love you. I am not replacing your father, but I want to love you as a son. I promise to love you, provide for you, protect you, and encourage you as son.
Todd: Mom, Charles, I love you and look to you for my life, my future, and my life. Thank you for being my parents.
Celebrate love and family together with your Kids. It will go a long way toward launching your family. - 30299
If the Youngsters are left out of the wedding, they feel omitted.
Forcing Youngsters to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.
When it comes to mixing families, there is no sure formula. Youngsters and adults have a whole mix of feelings, expectations, and needs.
First, identify who the adults are and who the Children are. Adults must act like adults, and Children must be treated as Youngsters. Adults are suppose to be emotionally mature, capable of self control, logical thought, and consideration of others. Kids are not yet mature, capable of controlling their world, have difficulty understanding adult things, and are mostly concerned about their own welfare.
When adults are confident in their own relationships, they are far more effective nurturing family connections with the Youngsters.
What do Youngsters want? They want control of their own world. They want to feel loved, secure, protected, and accepted. They may not understand what they really want. Indeed, they may struggle to find peace with their changing world. One thing they do not want, however, is to be left out, ignored, or abandoned.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Youngsters. Help the Kids accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
Dysfunctional families result for a lack of consideration, love, and acceptance. Everyone suffers. The aim of every family should be to create an atmosphere where each family member feels accepted, loved, and secure.
Caution is better than calamity. When positive relationships are built and the family feels good about one another, everything runs more smoothly including weddings.
Many families choose to involve their Kids in the wedding ceremony with a variety of roles including wedding vows involving Youngsters.
Susan is a twenty eight year old mother with an eight year old son named Todd. Susan has decided she wants to get married. The adult couple understands that Todd will be affected, but they are hoping it will be a positive experience for them all.
Involving Todd in the ceremony was discussed during a wedding planning session and it was decided to pursue the possibilities.
Including Todd was a big deal. Todd was excited and his new parents looked forward to planning a great wedding for the family.
It was decided that Todd would be included in the wedding ceremony by creating special vows for him.
The wedding vows went like this:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I love your mother and I love you. I am not replacing your father, but I want to love you as a son. I promise to love you, provide for you, protect you, and encourage you as son.
Todd: Mom, Charles, I love you and look to you for my life, my future, and my life. Thank you for being my parents.
Celebrate love and family together with your Kids. It will go a long way toward launching your family. - 30299
About the Author:
Dr. David Trumble is an experienced minister and author from Austin, Texas who provides wedding supplies and wedding vows to couples nation wide. See his books including his book Wedding Vows Involving Children.
