How To Get Your Wife Back After Divorce

By Sarah Lindahl

Since you are reading this article right now, then you are probably suffering emotionally over the divorce of someone you love greatly. The specific circumstances are irrelevant right now. Maybe it was her fault, maybe it was yours. But the marriage ended, and now you need to know how to get your wife back after divorce. By not giving up and seeking out advice on making this happen, you are showing great commitment and should be commended for your effort. This article covers three key points about how to get your wife back after divorce. There is a plan to follow with specific steps to take. Learn what to do and what not to do and you will greatly improve your chances of rekindling the love and excitement you both felt at the beginning of your relationship.

Clarity about why your relationship ended is very important. Maybe one event ended it for you, but more likely your marriage deteriorated over time. There are usually two reasons for this. He is not getting what he needs, and this does not refer to sex, and she is not getting what she needs. Men and women have different needs. Men want to feel admired. If he feels nagging instead of admiration, his self esteem goes down because he feels like she is not satisfied with him and what he can offer. Women are different in that they need to feel appreciated. When she feels she is being taken for granted, she looks elsewhere for someone who appreciates and listens to her. When the needs of each are not being met, the marriage often ends in divorce. However, the relationship is not necessarily over forever. Taking time to focus on why your divorce happened and getting to the real reason behind the divorce is critical. It is a painful process, but an honest assessment is the first step to getting your wife back.

Next is to understand why you want to get back together. Many couples break-up and later realize most of the time they spent together was happy, but they broke-up because of some occasional fighting. Maybe you want to get back together for the kids. The specific reasons vary, but the important thing is to avoid some common lies we tell ourselves. For example, if you want to get back together because you feel that you cannot be happy alone, that is not a good reason and it is also not true. Other lies we tell our selves include thinking it will be different next time, or we will change everything we did wrong before. You must get to the real reason you want to get back together and the next step will be much more effective.

Now that you have a good understanding of why the marriage ended in divorce and your reasons for wanting to get back together, the time has come to make contact. She may not want to talk to you right now, and with caller ID she may screen your calls and not answer the phone. But you must avoid calling repeatedly as if you are desperate. Do not leave a message, but call every couple of days at a time when she can talk privately for a few minutes. Your purpose in calling is to see her again, so make sure you have a plan before you call. A get together for a coffee, a walk or doing something fun is appropriate, but not dinner. Keep your first contact more light hearted and fun. A whole evening together so soon could end in a long discussion about your problems, and focusing on the negative is not productive. Be sure to look your best when you see her and focus on the positive. You may want to update your wardrobe and freshen up your look. This will help to form a visual break with the past, and she will feel appreciated because of your effort. When you first started dating, you probably tried to impress her. Making that effort again will make her feel special.

Our relationships are what make us human, and marriage is one of the most special relationships we can have. Your desire to discover how to get your wife back after divorce is proof of how much your marriage meant in your life. Because we are human, we all make mistakes. But we can all learn, change and improve, and through this we can change our relationships and lives for the better. Transforming a broken marriage that ended in divorce into a relationship where love can flourish is one of the most fulfilling changes in life. - 30299

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